The Booty Report

News and Updates for Swashbucklers Everywhere

Ye scallywags be tellin' tales of a gallant Auburn lad struck in a Florida skirmish! Arrr!

2024-05-19

Arrr mateys, the Auburn Tiger's own Brian Batttie hath met with misfortune in a skirmish in Florida! 'Tis said one soul hath fallen and three others be wounded. Mayhap he be needin' a trusty parrot to watch his back in future adventures on the high seas!

Avast ye scurvy dogs! The Auburn Tigers running back Brian Battie be in a right pickle after gettin' shot in Florida, with his brother Tommie Battie IV bein' sadly killed in the incident. Arrr, the lad be in critical condition, but the heartless sea dogs at Auburn University be too busy to respond to a request for comment from Fox News Digital.The Sarasota County Sheriff’s Office be investigatin' the deadly skirmish, which happened in the wee hours o' the mornin'. A large crowd and multiple victims were found in the aftermath, with four other wounded souls bein' taken to hospitals in the area.This brutal attack bein' an isolated incident, with the cause of the violence remainin' a mystery. Brian Battie had a fine career at South Florida before sailin' to Auburn, where he showed promise on the field with 227 yards and a touchdown. Let's raise a glass and hope for the lad's swift recovery, and may the seas be calm for him once more.

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