The Booty Report

News and Updates for Swashbucklers Everywhere

"Arrr, Michael Cohen be confessin' to pilferin' from Trump's treasure chest on the witness stand, mateys!"

2024-05-20

Avast ye scurvy dogs! Michael Cohen, the scallywag, confessed on the witness stand that he pilfered from the Trump Organization. He spun a yarn about lying to old Allen Weisselberg and swindled them out of doubloons for a tech company. Aye, a true tale of deceit and skullduggery! Arrr!

Ahoy mateys! 'Tis been reported that Michael Cohen, in a grand display of piracy, confessed to pilfering from the Trump Organization while standin' before the court on Monday. The scallywag admitted to tellin' former Trump Organization Chief Financial Officer Allen Weisselberg a tall tale about how much he was owed for a payment to RedFinch, a tech company.
Instead of the $50,000 he requested, Cohen admitted to only handin' over $20,000 to the tech company, pocketin' the rest like a true buccaneer. When asked by Trump's legal matey if he stole from the organization, Cohen had no choice but to confess his deeds.
Arrr, the seas be rough for Cohen as he navigates the treacherous waters of the court, facin' the consequences of his thievery. The truth be comin' out like a hidden treasure, revealin' the depths of his deceit. It be a tale of betrayal and dishonesty fit for the history books of the high seas. Let this be a lesson to all ye scoundrels out there - beware the wrath of the law, for it be as unforgiving as a stormy sea.

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