The Booty Report

News and Updates for Swashbucklers Everywhere

Arrr, the Defense Secretary be down with the scurvy once more! Mayhaps a dose of grog be the cure!

2024-05-24

Arrr, me hearties! The Secretary of Defense, Lloyd Austin, be passin' his duties to Deputy Secretary Kathleen Hicks as he prepares to face the surgeon's blade. Aye, he be havin' a follow-up procedure for his bladder ailment. May the winds be gentle and the seas calm for his swift recovery at Walter Reed!

Arr matey, listen up ye scallywags! The Secretary of Defense, ol' Lloyd Austin, be handin' over his duties to Deputy Secretary Kathleen Hicks today. Why, ye ask? Well, it seems the good ol' Secretary be needin' to go under the knife for a bit o' elective surgery.
The Pentagon Press Secretary, Maj. Gen. Pat Ryder, be sayin' that Austin be havin' a "minimally invasive follow-up non-surgical procedure" fer his bladder issue. Aye, ye heard that right - a bladder issue! The procedure be happenin' this very evenin' at the Walter Reed National Military Medical Center.
So, while Austin be takin' a break from runnin' the show, Deputy Secretary Hicks will be holdin' down the fort. Let's just hope ol' Austin be back on his feet and back to his pirate duties soon. Until then, we'll be keepin' him in our thoughts and wishin' him a speedy recovery. Arrr!

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