The Booty Report

News and Updates for Swashbucklers Everywhere

Avast ye scurvy dogs! The Crown be preachin' about lookin' at parchments during this hush money trial! Arrr!

2024-05-28

Arrr, me hearties! The final parley commenced on Tuesday in the criminal case o' hush money against Cap'n Donald Trump. Judge Juan Merchan warned us, we be in for a long night, with the defense ramblin' on for two hours and a half, and the prosecution for four hours and a half. But fear not, for the judge be merciful, grantin' snack breaks for the weary jury. And don't ye be forgettin', Trump's scallywag attorney be gettin' a tongue-lashin' from the judge himself!

Avast ye scallywags! Closing arguments be underway in the dastardly hush money trial against the former President Trump. The honorable Judge Juan Merchan be warnin' us that this trial be lastin' longer than a sailor's tale, with the defense talkin' fer two and a half hours and the prosecution jabberin' on for four and a half hours. The jury be forced to stay late, but fear not, as the judge be providin' 'em with snack breaks, for they seem to appreciate a nibble or two.
But alas, even in a court of law, there be room for humor. The judge be givin' a tongue-lashin' to Trump's lawyer Todd Blanche, remindin' him to mind his manners. Blimey, the courtroom be a lively place indeed! Will the former President walk the plank or be set free to sail the seas once more? Only time will tell, me hearties. Stay tuned for the verdict, and may the winds of justice blow in our favor!

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