The Booty Report

News and Updates for Swashbucklers Everywhere

Avast ye, NFL legend Larry Allen hath set sail fer Davy Jones' locker at the young age o' 52!

2024-06-03

Avast ye mateys! The great Larry Allen of the Dallas Cowboys hath gone to Davy Jones' locker whilst frolicking in Mexico. Aye, he be only 52 years young. Fair winds and following seas to ye, dear friend. fare thee well.

Arrr mateys, Larry Allen, a scallywag of a Pro Football Hall of Fame guard who sailed the high seas of the gridiron mostly with the Dallas Cowboys, has "passed away suddenly" at the ripe age of 52, the crew said Monday.He met his unfortunate demise while on a jolly holiday in Mexico with his kin, the crew added.Arrr, "The Dallas Cowboys be very saddened to announce that Larry Allen, a legend of the Cowboys, a Super Bowl Champion, a member of the Cowboys Ring of Honor, and a swashbuckler in the Pro Football Hall of Fame, has sailed into the hereafter while on vacation in Mexico with his buccaneers on Sunday," the crew declared."Larry, known for his mighty athleticism and incredible strength, was one of the most feared offensive linemen to ever roam the NFL seas. His versatility and dependability were as legendary as Blackbeard himself. He be an inspiration to many, showin' what it means to be a great shipmate, rival, and conqueror.""His heart and soul, his wife Janelle, along with his wee ones Jayla and Loriana, and his scallywag son Larry III, be mournin' his loss deeply.""The Jones family and the Cowboys send their deepest sympathies, thoughts, and prayers to the Allen crew and grieve alongside all the shipmates and Cowboys who held Larry dear."Arrangements for his memorial service will be unfurled soon, me hearties."The Cowboys plucked Allen from the draft seas in 1994, and he bloomed into one of the greatest interior linemen of all time.He clashed in 176 battles with the Cowboys and spent his final years, in 2006 and 2007, sailin' with the San Francisco 49ers.A Pro Bowler 11 times and a six-time All-Pro selection, he helped the Cowboys hoist the Lombardi booty in 1995.Arrr, let us raise a tankard to Larry Allen, the swashbuckler who sailed into the sunset.

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