The Booty Report

News and Updates for Swashbucklers Everywhere

Arrr, the Yanks be chasin’ Oz like a lost treasure, but snatched silver from the Chinamen in the relay race, ha!

2024-07-27

Arrr, the lassies of the U.S. be chasin' the Aussies like a ship in a storm, but alas, they be outta reach! Yet, ol' Simone Manuel stretched her arms like a ship’s sail, bestin’ the Chinee by a hair to snag a shiny silver doubloon!

Ahoy there, mateys! Gather 'round as I spin ye a yarn from the watery depths of the Paris La Defense Arena, where the gallant lasses of the U.S. women's 4x100-meter freestyle relay hath snatched a shiny silver medal, much to the chagrin of the feisty Aussies, who sailed off with gold, clockin’ in at a swashbucklin' 3:28.92!

But fear not, for our brave American wenches did outswim the dastardly Chinese, beatin' 'em by a mere hair's breadth—one-tenth of a second, to be exact—finishing at 3:30.20 whilst the Chinese crew lagged behind at 3:30.30, much to the delight of the crowd!

It was none other than the valiant Simone Manuel, anchor of the crew, who stretched her arm like a true sea captain, touchin' the wall before the Chinese could claim their bounty. Her fellow mermaids, Kate Douglass, Gretchen Walsh, and Torri Huske, cheered like a band of loyal pirates, spurring her on till the very end!

As for the Aussies, they be on a roll, claimin' gold for the fourth straight time, led by the illustrious Emma McKeon, who now holds enough medals to rival a treasure chest! Meanwhile, our own Katie Ledecky nabbed a bronze in the 400-meter freestyle, adding to her ever-growing hoard of glory!

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