The Booty Report

News and Updates for Swashbucklers Everywhere

Arrr! Texas’ Steve and his lass Loreal be partin’ ways, yet swears to stay shipmates, savvy?

2024-07-27

Arrr, matey! Coach Steve Sarkisian o' the Texas Longhorns be sailin' through stormy seas, for he and his lass, after four long years o' wedded bliss, be settin' their sails for separate shores! Aye, what a swashbucklin' twist in the tale!

Ahoy, me hearties! Gather 'round as I spin ye a yarn 'bout the fair coach of Texas football, Steve Sarkisian, and his lass, Loreal. It appears the winds of change be blowin' strong, fer the couple be settin' sail on separate ships, declarin' their union to be amicably adrift!

In a joint scroll, they be thankin' the stars and each other, vowin' to remain the best of mates despite their split. "After many a heartfelt chinwag," they proclaimed, "we've decided to part ways without a squabble, keepin' the friendship afloat like a sturdy ship!"

But nay, don’t be thinkin' it be the love lost, as they claim their career endeavors be makin' it tough to share the same treasure chest of time. Loreal be a fine wardrobe stylist, and with Steve steer’n the Texas Longhorns, they’ve both got busy sails to catch!

Since tyin' the knot in 2020, they’ve weathered storms together, but lo! Now they seek to chart new courses alone while still supportin' one another through the tides of life. So, raise a mug to the Sarkisians, and may their next chapters be filled with fair winds and good fortune! Arrr!

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