The Booty Report

News and Updates for Swashbucklers Everywhere

Arrr, Simone Biles be fightin' through a sore leg, ready to dazzle in all four events at the grand games!

2024-07-29

Arrr! The daring lass Simone Biles, fierce as a tempest, be settin’ sail to conquer the Paris games, despite her poor calf bein' as sore as a shipwrecked sailor! She’ll wrestle through all four events like a true buccaneer on a quest for glory this Tuesday!

Avast ye landlubbers! Gather 'round for the tale of the wondrous Simone Biles, a lass who be takin' to the high seas of gymnastics at the Paris Olympics, despite a wee injury to her calf! Aye, during warm-ups, this brave soul hobbled off the floor, but lo and behold, she summoned the strength of a thousand pirates and finished strong in the final three events, her foot all taped up like a treasure chest!

Her coach, the fair and wise Cecile Landi, be shoutin' good tidings about Biles' minor ailment, sayin’ there be no plans to cast her aside during the grand Olympics. "I can’t express it!" she exclaimed, proud as a captain with a fine crew. Biles, the captain of her own ship, shall be last to perform in vault, floor exercise, and balance beam, whilst takin' second on the uneven bars.

With her fellow gymnast, Jordan Chiles, ready to join her in battle, Biles be a true legend among Olympians. This scallywag has weathered storms before, battlin’ the twisties in Tokyo, and now she sails forth to claim her rightful glory! The gymnastics team final be upon us, so hoist the sails and let the games begin!

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