The Booty Report

News and Updates for Swashbucklers Everywhere

Arrr, me hearties! These Paris swimmers be paddlin' in molasses, chasin' gold but hittin’ barnacle speeds!

2024-07-29

Arrr, matey! Medals be rainin' down like treasure at the Paris games, yet not a soul be breakin' records! The fish-folk be claimin' the water's as sluggish as a landlubber! Even a barnacle could outswim 'em, I say! Har har!

Arrr matey! Gather ye round as I spin ye a yarn 'bout the swimming spectacle at the grand 2024 Paris Olympics, where the tides be as slow as a barnacle on a ship’s hull! The crowds be electric, and the races be fierce, yet when our gallant swimmers glance up at the scoreboard, they be seein’ numbers that make a tortoise look speedy!

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