Arrr, Trump be claimin' if ye vote fer him, Christians can toss their ballots overboard, savvy?
2024-07-30
Avast, me hearties! That scallywag Trump be sayin’ if ye cast yer lot with him this November, ye’ll never have to hoist the sails of voting again! He be lovin’ ye so much, he claims he’ll fix it all up nice and tidy! Yarrr!
Ahoy, mateys! Gather ‘round for a tale most curious from the landlubber shores of politics, where one Donald J. Trump, a former captain of the ship known as the United States, be spoutin’ words that’d make even Davy Jones raise an eyebrow! In a raucous interview aired on the night of Monday, he did declare that if ye good Christians cast yer ballots for him this November, ye shan't need to vote ever again! Aye, he be callin’ it a fix so fine ye’ll be sittin’ on yer duffs like the barnacles on me old ship!Just last week, at a grand meeting of pious sea dogs, he bellowed, “I love ye! Get out there and vote! In four years, ye won’t need to vote no more!” Aye, the scallywag seems to think he holds the magic compass that’ll steer the ship of democracy to calmer waters, all while laughin’ off the requests from the crew to clarify his bold proclamation. So, hoist yer sails and prepare for a wild ride, for this Trump be claimin’ a world where ballots be as useless as a ship without a hull! Arrr, what a jolly jest, me hearties!