Arrr! Trump’s sharpshooter be spewin’ fiery tales on the web, says a scallywag from the FBI, matey!
2024-07-30
Ahoy, mateys! On the thirtieth day of July, a scallywag tried to send the Republican captain Trump to Davy Jones' locker! This young knave, known as Crooks, be spoutin' vile words 'gainst Jews and newcomers on the interwebs like a bilge-sucking landlubber! Yarrr!
Ahoy, mateys! Gather ‘round fer a tale that be fit fer the high seas o’ political squabbles and treachery! On the thirtieth day o' July in the year o' our Lord, two-thousand and twenty-three, a grand revelation broke like a ship’s hull in a storm! The scallywag who dared to take a shot at the Republican captain, Donald Trump, be none other than a lad named Thomas Crooks. Aye, he be a wee pup, just fifteen or sixteen sails upon his mast when he unleashed a storm o' violent and wicked thoughts upon the seas o' the internet, painting his antisemitic and anti-immigration rants like a cursed pirate's flag!During a gathering o' the Senate crew, the wise Deputy Director of the FBI, Paul Abbate, regaled the assembly with tales of Crooks’ social media shenanigans from the fateful years o' 2019 and 2020. This be no ordinary tale, me hearties! Nay, it be a tale ‘o darkness lurking in the shadows, where the young scamp’s mind be as twisted as a rogue’s compass. So, let it be known across the seven seas, that not all treasure be gold, and some ships carry naught but ill fate and mischief afoot!