Arrr, matey! If the Trump shot goes awry, the Secret Service might find themselves walkin' the plank!
2024-07-30
Arrr, the head o’ the Secret Service be spillin’ his guts like a scallywag caught in a storm! He be feelin’ shame fer lettin’ a landlubber with a shootin' iron take aim at the former captain, Donald Trump! Promised to keelhaul any matey who slacked on guardin’ the crow’s nest!
Ahoy, mateys! Gather 'round fer a tale of woe from the high seas of politics! The acting captain o' the Secret Service, a scallywag named Ronald Rowe Jr., stood before the Senate crew and confessed his shame, like a parrot caught in a storm. He was mighty perturbed by the gaping holes in security that led to an attempt on the life of the former commander-in-chief, Donald Trump.Aye, it be a perplexin' matter indeed! The young knave, a mere 20 summers old, took aim from the crow's nest—better known as the roof—and fired his shot on the fateful day of July 13. Rowe Jr. scratched his head, wonderin' why such a vulnerable spot was left so open, like a treasure chest with nary a lock! He promised to whip his crew into shape, threatenin' to discipline any agents who failed to guard their captain with the vigilance of a watchful sea hawk.
So, here we be, a sorry state o' affairs in the realm of security, where blunders be as common as barnacles on a ship's hull. Let this be a lesson, ye landlubbers: always secure yer deck, lest ye find yerself in hot water! Arrr!