The Booty Report

News and Updates for Swashbucklers Everywhere

"Arrr! US Olympians be payin' a fortune to race, shoutin', 'Tis a right swindle, matey!'"

2024-07-31

Arrr, matey! The landlubber American athletes be feelin' the pinch o' inflation, havin' a devil of a time preparin’ fer the Paris Games! With prices risin' faster than a ship in a storm, they be strugglin’ to keep their eyes on the treasure! Aye, what a fine mess!

Ahoy, mateys! It be a dire tale o’ woe for our gallant Olympians, who be sufferin’ the same fate as many a landlubber in this here inflation-ridden sea of uncertainty. Since the dawn of 2021, consumer prices have skyrocketed a whopping 20%, makin’ it harder than a barnacle-covered hull to make ends meet!

In the grand Tokyo Games, we claimed the most gold, but preparations for the Paris Games be a different kettle o’ fish! Our sprinter, Fred Kerley, be lettin' loose his frustration, claimin’ “It’s f---ed!” Aye, it be a tough voyage when the government doesn’t pay its Olympians, leavin' ‘em dependin’ on sponsorships and paltry medal bonuses—$37,500 for gold, $22,500 for silver, and a measly $15,000 for bronze. A far cry from livin' like a king!

And what of our lass, Tara Davis-Woodhall? She be sayin' that inflation be makin' it harder to focus on the sport when the coin purse be feelin’ light. Even boxers like Morelle McCane be jugglin’ side jobs—clownin’ around, no less—just to scrape by! So, me hearties, while we cheer for our athletes, let’s also raise a tankard to their struggles in this tumultuous economy!

Read the Original Article