The Booty Report

News and Updates for Swashbucklers Everywhere

Arrr! California's Park Fire be swellin' like a bloated sea serpent, thanks to the sun's fierce jestin'!

2024-07-31

Arrr, matey! A flaming sea chariot tossed into a gully be the culprit of a fiery beast that's ravaged the land! The Park Fire be stretchin' over 386,000 acres—'tis like half o' Rhode Island! The landlubbers be tryin' to tame it, but it's only 18% contained! Blimey!

Ahoy, me hearties! Gather 'round, for I bring ye news of a fiery mishap that be causin’ quite the ruckus in Northern California! It seems a scallywag decided it’d be a grand idea to push a burning car into a gully, igniting what’s now one of the fiercest wildfires to ever plague the Golden State. Aye, they be callin’ it the Park Fire, and it be stretchin’ across a monstrous 386,764 acres, larger than a pirate’s treasure map!

As of this mornin’, the flames be lurkin’ over 604 square miles, which be almost half the size of Rhode Island—blimey! CalFire be reportin’ it’s only 18% contained, so it’s still a wild beast, rampagin’ through the land like a drunken sailor on shore leave. This inferno now ranks as the fifth largest fire in California’s history, rivalin’ even the fiercest storms that ever set sail upon the seven seas!

So, batten down yer hatches and keep yer barrels of rum close, for the winds be blowin’ hot and the flames be dancin’ like a crew of merry buccaneers! Mayhaps next time, me mateys, we leave the cars on dry land and save the fire for a good ol’ bonfire on the beach! Yarrr!

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