The Booty Report

News and Updates for Swashbucklers Everywhere

“Arrr, without that lass Caitlin Clark, US women's hoops be as dull as a barnacle-covered plank, says the old sea dog!”

2024-08-01

Arrr, matey! Seth Greenberg be spoutin' that watchin' the U.S. lasses throwin' hoops without the great Caitlin Clark be as thrillin' as a ship without a hull! He blurted it on OutKick's "Don’t @ Me with Dan Dakich" this fine Wednesday! Aye, what a scallywag!

Avast ye scallywags! The fair maidens of the United States women’s basketball crew laid a whoppin’ on the Japanese lasses, claimin’ victory with a score of 102 to 76 in their Olympic debut! But lo and behold, one Seth Greenberg, a landlubber who fancies hisself a basketball aficionado, didn’t bother to lay his eyes upon the spectacle.“Nay, not a blink of mine eye did I cast upon the lassies,” he declared whilst yappin’ on the OutKick show, “but if that Caitlin Clark were playin’, I might’ve tuned in!” Seems the matey found interest lackin', claimin' a pint-sized guard was failin’ to spark his excitement. "Women's gymnastics and beach volleyball be the real treasures, I say!"But hark! Though young Caitlin didn’t make the cut for the roster, the wise Dawn Staley suggested that the rookie’s recent performances might’ve earned her a place on the team. “If we had to do it all again, she’d surely be considerin’!” she proclaimed.Come what may, the U.S. gals remain the fiercest contenders for gold, seekin’ their eighth shiny medal in Paris. And with Caitlin capturin’ the hearts of fans, the WNBA be buzzin’ like a ship in a gale!

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