The Booty Report

News and Updates for Swashbucklers Everywhere

Arrr! Russia trades the salty sea dog Paul Whelan for a treasure chest o' prisoners! A fine swap, matey!

2024-08-01

Avast, me hearties! It be said that ex-Marine Paul Whelan and that ink-slinger Evan Gershkovich be swingin’ back to U.S. shores soon! A merry exchange between the land of liberty and the land of Vodka, surely a jolly ol’ shindig for the gallows! Arrr!

Arrr, me hearties! Gather 'round for a tale o' treachery and negotiations! Former U.S. Marine Paul Whelan, a fine lad from Michigan, be expectin' to be free soon, along with a scribe from Wall Street, Evan Gershkovich. They be caught up in a grand swap betwixt the U.S. and Russia, as told by a senior captain of the administration, or so the scuttlebutt goes!

Whelan, who’s been rotting in a Russian dungeon for over five years on charges o' espionage—claims that be as fishy as a two-headed coin—was nabbed in December 2018. He faces a mighty sentence of 16 years for supposed crimes that even the U.S. government be disputin’! His kin insist he was merely enjoyin’ the sights, not plottin’ a spy's escapade!

As for Gershkovich, he was on a reportin’ jaunt when the fates turned against him in March 2023. Both blokes be declared "wrongfully detained" by the Biden crew, who say the charges be as absurd as a parrot on a pirate’s shoulder! So, let us raise a tankard to the hope of their speedy return, for piracy be a more honorable pursuit than languishin’ in a cold, dark cell, aye!

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