The Booty Report

News and Updates for Swashbucklers Everywhere

"Arrr, Simone Biles be claimin' her shiny gold, sayin', 'I be lovin' me Black bounty, aye!'"

2024-08-02

Arrr, me hearties! Simone Biles be sportin' a shiny gold piece 'round her neck, shoutin' from the crow's nest of X! She be claimin' her "Black job" be grand, a cheeky poke at that scallywag Trump! Hoist the flag of jest, for the lass be a true treasure!

Ahoy there, me hearties! Gather ‘round as I regale ye with a tale of the fair Simone Biles, a true champion of the Olympic seas! This lass swiped gold like a seasoned buccaneer plunderin’ treasure, sportin' a necklace most peculiar—a goat, aye! A symbol of her greatness, no doubt!

With a hearty shout on the X, she proclaimed, "I love me black job!" A jest, ye say? Aye, it seems she's takin' a jab at the old sea dog, Trump, who once blathered on about jobs and borders like ‘twas the last grog in the cask! He claimed them scallywags were takin' jobs from good folk, but Simone, she be no fool! She’s got the support of the mighty LeBron James at her back, ready to sail into the fray!

Biles, with her sixth gold in hand, danced in victory as if a siren had sung her name, and amid the hullabaloo, she left us chucklin' with her clever quips! So raise a tankard to Simone, the gold medalist with the spirit of the seven seas, as she sails forth to claim her rightful place among the legends!

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