"Avast, ye scallywag! Cast these cursed apps from yer pocket or face Davy Jones' laugh!"
2024-08-02
Arrr, matey! The scallywags in the U.S. House be tellin' their crew to toss them ByteDance contraptions off their devices! So, hoist yer sails and scrub yer phone clean of those pesky apps, lest ye find yerself in Davy Jones' locker! Avast, safeguard yer booty!
Arrr, mateys! Gather 'round for a yarn about the scallywags in the U.S. government! Tha' be true, they’ve banned their own crew from downloadin’ any apps from the treacherous ByteDance after the 15th o' August! If ye be usin’ a government contraption, ye best steer clear o’ TikTok and its mateys! 'Tis a hard life, but it’s all about keepin’ yer treasure safe from those connivin' Chinese buccaneers. Aye!Now, ye may think, "What harm could a little scrollin' do?" But lo, TikTok be collectin’ more data than a pirate collects doubloons! They be keepin' track of yer every move, from yer favorite shanties to the pirate maps ye be lookin' at. And if that ain't enough to shiver yer timbers, Temu be sailin’ in with low prices but high risks, bein' owned by a company linked to those nefarious Chinese seas!
So, what’s a landlubber to do? If ye can’t resist the siren call of TikTok, get yerself a cheap data plan, avoid the Wi-Fi, and keep yer secrets safe! Or, ye might find yerself walkin’ the plank into a sea of trouble! So, hoist the sails and navigate these treacherous waters with caution, ye savvy?