The Booty Report

News and Updates for Swashbucklers Everywhere

"Arrr! A scallywag raid on Somali sands sent 37 good souls to Davy Jones' locker, claims the landlubber minister!"

2024-08-03

Arrr, matey! A fine Friday feast turned foul, with 37 landlubbers sent to Davy Jones' locker and 212 left worse for wear at a beach tavern in Mogadishu! Blame the scallywags of al Shabaab, says the health captain. Aye, ‘tis the deadliest shenanigan in these waters for some time!

Arrr, me hearties! Gather 'round fer a tale of woe from the shores of Somalia! A fine beach tavern, where merry folk be feasting and drinkin', met a most unfortunate fate on a dark Friday eve. An explosion, like a cannon blast from a rival ship, rocked the joint, sendin’ at least 37 poor souls to Davy Jones' locker and leavin’ 212 more wearin’ bandages like a bunch o’ landlubbers! Aye, the scallywags of al Shabaab be the culprits, claimin’ responsibility for this dastardly deed.

Health Minister Ali Haji, standin’ before the gathered crew of reporters, did declare that 11 of the injured be hangin’ by a thread, teeterin’ on the edge of the abyss. The whole affair be the deadliest explosion to shake the Horn o’ Africa since a pair of dastardly car bombs turned a busy market into a scene straight from the depths of a pirate’s worst nightmare.

So, me mateys, let us raise a tankard to those caught in the stormy seas of violence, and may the winds carry their spirits to calmer waters. We pirates may be ruffians, but we know the value of life 'round the grog barrel. Aye, let peace be the treasure we seek! Arrr!

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