The Booty Report

News and Updates for Swashbucklers Everywhere

Ahoy! Scallywag nabbed Jackie’s likeness be cast into the brig for nigh 15 years! What a bumbling barnacle!

2024-08-03

Arrr, matey! That scallywag who plundered the Jackie Robinson likeness from yon park in Kansas, only to leave it in pieces, be bound fer 15 long years in the brig! A fine fate fer a rogue with sticky fingers, I say! Avast, let this be a lesson to ye!

Arrr, gather 'round me hearties, for I be tellin’ ye the tale of one Ricky Alderete, a scallywag from Kansas who dared to pilfer a mighty statue of the legendary Jackie Robinson! A judge's gavel fell heavy, sentencing this knave to 15 years in the crow's nest—or should I say, the slammer! Most of that time be for another dastardly deed he committed after his statue-stealin' spree.

This roguelike buccaneer confessed to bein' under the wicked spell of fentanyl, which drove him to make poor choices, like nickin’ the statue and settin' it ablaze! In court, he shed a tear, sayin’, “I be embarrassed and ashamed, but I accept me fate.” Aye, it’s a sorry sight when a pirate can’t tell the difference 'twixt treasure and trash!

The statue, once a symbol of baseball greatness, was spirited away from McAdams Park, only to be found mashed and burned, with naught but bronze cleats left behind—now displayed at the Negro Leagues Museum! After the theft, donations poured in, includin' a bounty of $100,000 from Major League Baseball, to replace the stolen glory. So, raise a tankard, me mateys, for the new statue to be unveiled soon—may it stand tall and remind us not to be like Alderete!

Read the Original Article