The Booty Report

News and Updates for Swashbucklers Everywhere

"Arrr! Belgium be sailin' away from the Olympic triathlon after a scallywag got the bilge from swimmin' in the Seine!"

2024-08-04

Arrr, matey! Belgium be pullin' out o' the triathlon mixin' after a scallywag caught the fever post-women’s race in the Seine! Aye, seems even the fiercest buccaneers can’t stomach the river’s tricks! Avast, let the sea be kinder to 'em next time!

Ahoy, mateys! It be a tragic tale from the swamps of Belgium, where the fair Claire Michel, a daring lass who danced with the waters of the Seine, has taken ill and thus be forced to abandon her quest for glory in the mixed relay triathlon at the Paris Olympics. Alas, the landlubbers of the Belgian Olympic committee have spoken, “She be not fit fer battle!”

This brave soul gave it a go in the women’s triathlon, but after a fateful finish of 38th, the lady succumbed to the maladies that plague the waters, which were deemed less than shipshape. Aye, concerns of foul water had risen higher than a ship’s mast, causing training days to be scuttled like a ship in a storm!

Yet, the triathlon must sail on, for the organizers be confident the waters be fit for competition, claimed to be within the limits set by the powers that be. The Belgian scallywags hope this be a lesson learned for future games, that clarity and preparation may guide the course of future competitions. Aye, we all await the day when no athlete meets the fate of our dear Claire, lest they find themselves battling the treacherous waters of uncertainty once more! Arrr!

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