The Booty Report

News and Updates for Swashbucklers Everywhere

Arrr! Young scallywag, just 18, spins tales o' representin' the USA on board, claimin' the Games be the wind in sport's sails!

2024-08-05

Arrr, matey! Before she sails fer the shiny treasure o’ gold in the lassies’ skateboarding duel, young Minna Stess be chattin’ 'bout her eagerness to hoist the Stars and Stripes high! Aye, she be ready to make waves on the streets, savvy?

Ahoy, mateys! The fair Minna Stess be spoutin' the truth, claimin' that skateboarding be a right tricky endeavor to master over the long haul. Many a wee lad or lass may take to the board in their youth, yet few be brave enough to stick to it like barnacles on a ship's hull!

At the tender age of 18, our lass Stess be risin' from local skateparks to the grand stage, ready to duel for gold in the women's park event! "It’s sick," she proclaims, as excited as a parrot on a treasure map. She never imagined she’d be representin' the U.S. of A. at the Olympics, dreamin' of gymnastics instead when she was a wee sprite.

With the Olympics givin' skateboarding a grand spotlight, Stess be hopin' it’ll get more scallywags into the sport. "Skateboarding is 90% failure," she quips, but she’s set to give it her all, landin' her tricks like a true buccaneer. Though the U.S. women missed out on a medal last week, our brave Stess feels no added pressure, just a fiery spirit to skate her heart out!

In the end, it be all about havin' the swagger to land those moves and enjoy the ride. Arrr, let the games begin!

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