The Booty Report

News and Updates for Swashbucklers Everywhere

Arrr, Chiefs be givin’ Butker a treasure o’ gold for kickin’ the ball! Aye, the richest booty fer a kicker!

2024-08-05

Arrr, matey! Harrison Butker, the swashbucklin' kicker of the Kansas City crew, be claimin' the treasure as the highest-paid in the NFL seas! A grand four-year pact worth over 25 million doubloons, he be makin' more loot than a captain after a successful raid! Avast, what a jolly windfall!

Ahoy, mateys! Gather 'round, fer I bring ye tidings from the realm of football! The Kansas City Chiefs be keepin' their prized kicker, Harrison Butker, aboard fer four more years, with a treasure worth $25.6 million! Aye, that be the largest booty ever handed to a kicker in NFL lore, an' his $17.75 million guaranteed be as shiny as a pirate's doubloons!

This Butker lad be as dependable as a ship's compass, makin' 89.1% of his field goals and scoring a perfect 38-for-38 on extra points last season. Why, he even helped his crew win the Super Bowl with four successful kicks, includin' a game-tyin' beauty that sent 'em into overtime!

But hold yer horses! He stirred the seas with a controversial speech at Benedictine College, callin' on the fairer sex to embrace the title of "homemaker." That ruffled a few feathers, even among the nuns! Despite the squawkin', his jersey be flyin' off the shelves like hotcakes!

So, here’s to Butker, the kicker with a heart full of gold, stayin' with the Chiefs through the year 2028. May he sail smoothly on the winds of fortune, and may his kicks ever be true! Arrr!

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