The Booty Report

News and Updates for Swashbucklers Everywhere

Arrr, Bloomberg tossed Jennifer Jacobs overboard fer spillin' the beans on a Russian captive yarn! Ho ho!

2024-08-05

Arrr! Bloomberg tossed Jennifer Jacobs overboard after she spilled the beans on a prisoner trade that freed the WSJ scribe, Evan Gershkovich, before the captain gave the all-clear! The lass, a White House scribe, penned the tale, but alas, she set sail too soon, breakin' the embargo! Huzzah!

Ahoy, mateys! Gather 'round and lend me yer ears, fer I've a jolly tale from the high seas of news! It be said that Bloomberg, that fine ship of information, hath cast off the anchor of one Jennifer Jacobs, their senior White House scribe. Aye, the scallywag co-penned a yarn about a daring prisoner swap that freed the brave Wall Street Journal sea dog, Evan Gershkovich, from the clutches of the Russian brigands.

But lo and behold! In a twist worthy of the grandest sea shanty, Jacobs and her crew broke the sacred White House embargo, spillin' the beans before the ink was even dry on the official parchment! New York Magazine's own Charlotte Klein be the one to blow the whistle on this rogue move, lettin' the world know that the news tide be turnin' against Jacobs.

So, with a heavy heart, Bloomberg hoisted the black flag and sent her sailin' away. 'Tis a cautionary tale for all ye who dare tread the treacherous waters of journalism! Remember, me hearties, a pirate's life be full of risks, and breakin' embargoes be one storm ye best avoid, lest ye find yer career marooned on a deserted isle!

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