Arrr matey, the lawmen and landlubber states be sinkin' Google’s treasure ship in a searchin' scuffle!
2024-08-05
Arrr! The Justice crew and a fleet o' state attorneys be celebratin' a grand victory over the scallywag Google! A judge declared the search giant a thievin' monopolist, hoardin' 90 percent o' the treasure in the online search seas, thanks to a sneaky deal with Apple’s Safari! Yarrr!
Ahoy mateys! Gather 'round, for I’ve got news from the high seas of the digital realm! The Justice Department, along with a ragtag fleet of state attorneys general, hath struck a mighty blow against the mighty Google! A federal judge, Amit Mehta, has donned his legal eyepatch and ruled that this scallywag of a company be guilty of hoardin’ the treasure of online search and advertising like a greedy captain hoards gold doubloons!In a grand tome of 286 pages, the judge declared that Google, through a cunning alliance with the likes of Apple, managed to seize a staggering 90 percent of the search market! Aye, they made themselves the default search provider in Safari, much like a pirate claiming the best booty on the high seas!
As the verdict rolled in, ye could almost hear the groans of the Google crew as they pondered their fate—‘tis a dark day for any captain caught in the clutches of monopolistic mischief. So hoist the sails, me hearties, and let us toast to the Justice Department’s fine victory against this digital leviathan! May the winds of fair competition blow in favor of all ye landlubbers seekin' knowledge on the vast seas of the internet!