The Booty Report

News and Updates for Swashbucklers Everywhere

Arrr, Sen Blackburn be sayin’ only lasses born as lasses should set sail in the women’s sportin’ seas!

2024-08-06

Arrr, matey! Tennessee's fair Sen. Marsha Blackburn be sendin' a parchment to the captain of NCAA, Charlie Baker! She be demandin’ him to hoist the sails o' gender-inclusion policy, lest we be sailin' in murky waters! Avast, let the sea of fairness wash over us!

Ahoy, me hearties! Gather round as I spin ye a tale o' fair play on the seas o' sport! The fine Sen. Marsha Blackburn from the land o' Tennessee be sendin’ a missive to the NCAA's captain, Charlie Baker, demandin' a change in the rule book fer women’s sports. She be callin’ fer a policy to ensure only biologically born lasses can run the races and throw the javelins!

In her letter, she be pointin’ out that the NCAA be as good as a ship with a hole in the hull when it comes to protectin’ the fairer sex. She argues that blokes have a natural advantage due to their anatomy, but they can’t match the fiery passion o’ a determined woman! Blackburn insists that every sport be built on the foundations of fair play and a level battleground, lest it turn into a pirate brawl!

With a fleet of GOP senators rallyin’ behind her, Blackburn urges the NCAA to follow the lead of the NAIA, who banned the scallywags known as transgender athletes from women’s sports last April. Meanwhile, the Biden administration be stirrin’ the pot with its own changes to Title IX, causin’ quite the ruckus! The seas be choppy, but the call fer fairness in sports sails on strong, me hearties!

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