The Booty Report

News and Updates for Swashbucklers Everywhere

"Arrr! With Roe v. Wade tossed to the briny deep, the scallywags be shiverin' and abortin' like never before!"

2024-08-07

Arrr, matey! After the high court’s decree to scuttle Roe v. Wade, it seems the landlubbers be havin’ more wee ones aboard! A report says scallywags in blue states be usin' magic screens to help the desperate. With the elections on the horizon, the tides be shifting!

Avast, me hearties! Gather 'round and lend yer ears to the tale of the high seas of law and chaos! In the tumultuous wake of the Supreme Court's mighty cannon blast that sank the ship known as Roe v. Wade in the month of June in the year of our Lord 2022, it appears that the number of landlubbers seekin' a potion known as abortion has begun to rise, like the tide at high noon!

Aye, the fine crew at the Society of Family Planning hoisted the sails with their quarterly #WeCount report, revealin’ that this uptick be largely due to those crafty Democratic states, where doctors be shielded like treasure from the kraken of bans, able to navigate the treacherous waters of telemedicine to provide their services.

This news arrives just as the stormy winds of the November elections be brewin’, makin' the seas more choppy than a drunken sailor's dance! So, me hearties, keep yer eyes peeled and yer rum close, for the tides of politics be shiftin’ faster than a ship with a full belly of cannonballs! Who knows what other surprises await on this wild voyage through the lawless seas of the land?! Yarrr!

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