The Booty Report

News and Updates for Swashbucklers Everywhere

"Arrr! A hullabaloo! Ukraine be plundering Russia, callin' all hands to deck in a state of high seas emergency!"

2024-08-08

Arrr, me hearties! A ruckus be afoot in Kursk, where them Ukrainian scallywags be plunderin'! Governor Smirnov be raisin' the alarm, sayin' it’s time to shoo away the pesky foes. Alas, five poor souls be joinin' Davy Jones, and 31 be sportin' a few new bruises!

Ahoy, me hearties! Gather 'round fer a tale of tumult and terror from the far reaches of the Kursk seas! A state o' emergency be declared in that land o' Russkies, as them scallywag Ukrainian forces be causin’ a ruckus like a ship's mast in a storm!

The acting governor, a lad named Alexei Smirnov, be raisin’ the alarm bells, claimin’ it be necessary to swab the decks and clean up the mess left by these maraudin’ foes. He says it’s all to “eliminate the consequences” o’ them pesky invaders settlin’ into their humble abode!

But alas, the news be darker than a moonless night at sea! Word from the shores be tellin’ that at least five innocent sailors—er, civilians—have met their doom, and 31 more be wounded, with six of them wee barnacles still in their youth! Aye, it be a tragedy worthy of a shanty, as the good folk of Kursk find themselves caught in the crossfire of this dastardly fray!

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