The Booty Report

News and Updates for Swashbucklers Everywhere

Arrr, me hearties! Anticipatin’ Intel’s treasure of a chip, but ye may be waitin’ longer than a sea turtle's nap!

2024-08-09

Avast ye! A tempest of quarrels and coin pinchers hath compelled Intel to scuttle its grand shindig! By me parrot’s beak, this folly be a recipe for mischief on the high seas of tech. Arrr, let’s hope they don’t sink ship before the next wave!


Ahoy, mateys! Gather 'round and lend me yer ears, fer I've news from the tech seas! Intel, the grand ship o’ processors, be postponin' its Innovation event till September 2025! Aye, the scallywags be sayin’ it’s due to rough waters ahead, as their coffers be emptier than a pirate's rum barrel after a night of debauchery!

Intel's wordsmiths spoke of “tough decisions” an’ a need to align their cost structure, makin’ it sound like they be sailin’ into a squall! They’ve even had to announce layoffs of 15,000 crew members—blimey! That be a lot of buccaneers lookin’ fer new treasure!

In their defense, they’ve extended warranties on unstable processors longer than a sea shanty, hopin’ to calm the storm among their customers. But fear not, ye landlubbers, for they may still unveil some secrets at IFA 2024, keepin’ spirits afloat with smaller gatherings and hackathons!

So, while this news be as bitter as a sea hag’s brew, let us raise a tankard! Intel be showin' some self-awareness, knowin’ they’ve got a mighty big fish to fry before they launch new treasures upon the seas of technology!

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