The Booty Report

News and Updates for Swashbucklers Everywhere

Arrr, Justice Gorsuch be sayin’ we landlubbers got a heap o’ swabbin’ to do on manners, aye!

2024-08-09

Arrr, Justice Gorsuch be spoutin’ wisdom, sayin’ our laws be bloomin’ like barnacles 'cause we be mistrustin’ each other! He be callin’ fer a hearty chat 'twixt us scallywags, remindin’ us to take our licks as well as our spoils! Aye, civility be the treasure we seek!

Ahoy, mateys! Gather 'round as I spin ye a yarn 'bout that esteemed Justice Neil M. Gorsuch, a fine fellow from the high courts who be speakin' the other day in a land o' palm trees and sunshine, known as Ventura County. He be claimin' that the seas be stormy, not just from the winds, but from a mighty heap o' federal laws and regulations brewin' like a tempest in a teapot, all born from distrust among the good folk o' the land.

"Arrr, we must learn to parley and be civil," quoth the justice, like a wise old sea captain teachin' the crew how to hoist the sails without bickerin'. He urged all hands to understand that yer not always gonna be the captain of the ship; sometimes, ye must let others take the helm. "We’ve much work ahead on the fine art of civility and civics," he declared, as the crowd nodded like a bunch of bobblin' heads on the high seas.

So let it be known, ye scallywags! If we be wantin' calmer waters and fair winds, we best start talkin’ like civilized kin and not like a pack of squawkin' parrots. Justice Gorsuch be settin' a course fer a more agreeable future—so hoist yer sails and embrace the challenge, ye landlubbers!

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