The Booty Report

News and Updates for Swashbucklers Everywhere

Arrr! US Olympic mates be raisin' a ruckus ‘bout Jordan Chiles, makin’ the Paris gymnastics tale even more wild!

2024-08-11

Arrr, mateys! The U.S. Olympic crew be raisin' their sails to challenge the verdict from the Center o' Arbitration for Sport! They be claimin' that Jordan Chiles' shiny bronze be more than mere treasure. Aye, let the seas of justice run wild!

Avast ye landlubbers! Gather ‘round and lend me yer ears! The U.S. Olympic and Paralympic Committee be settin’ sail to challenge a most grievous verdict by the Court of Arbitration for Sport. They be sayin’ that fair Jordan Chiles, who took the bronze at the Paris Olympics, now be stripped of it like a ship’s sails in a tempest!

The tale goes that a mere four seconds past the deadline be the cause of this hullabaloo, caused by the Romanian Gymnastics crew who claimed the U.S. missed their chance to adjust Chiles’ score by a measly 0.1 points. Aye, it be a right curious mess! The International Olympic Committee, in their wisdom—or folly—decreed that Chiles must return her shiny medal, but the USOPC swears she earned it fair and square!

They claim the foul-ups be on the part of the International Gymnastics Federation and the CAS, leavin’ Chiles without the proper time to defend her honor—like a pirate without his cutlass! With the winds against them, the USOPC be determined to fight for their champion, though the CAS be known to stand firm like a stubborn barnacle on a ship's hull.

So let’s raise a tankard to Chiles, and may her rightful treasure be restored, lest we all walk the plank of injustice! Arrr!

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