The Booty Report

News and Updates for Swashbucklers Everywhere

Arrr, Tim Walz be spoutin’ tall tales ‘bout wieldin’ cutlasses in battle, says his crew o’ scallywags!

2024-08-11

Arrr, mateys! It be said that Gov. Tim Walz be slippin' his tongue like a fish outta water in a 2018 tale! The landlubbers o' the GOP be givin' him a right good thrashin' fer his sea legs in battle. Fear not, for he be honorin' all brave souls, aye!

Ahoy, me hearties! Gather 'round as I regale ye with the tale of Governor Tim Walz, a landlubber from Minnesota who found himself in a right pickle! Aye, it all began when a wee video from 2018 sailed back into the limelight, tossed about by the crafty crew of the Harris campaign. In this here moving picture, our governor was yappin' about his dealings with weapons "in war," and it set the seas a-storming!

Now, the scallywags of the Republican fleet, led by the valiant yet vexed JD Vance, raised their flags in outrage, claimin' that Walz had besmirched the honor of those who hath served in the grand military. But fear not, me mateys! A spokesperson for the governor quickly clarified that he "misspoke," and that he’d never dare insult the brave souls who’ve fought for our fair land.

In truth, ol' Walz be thankin' them for their valor, like a proper captain should! So, as the waves settle and the winds calm, let us remember that even the best of us can trip over our tongues now and again. Avast! Let the governor sail on, with his crew of loyal supporters at his side, ready to weather any storm that comes their way!

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