The Booty Report

News and Updates for Swashbucklers Everywhere

"Arrr! The lawmen stormed this fair lass's ship! Will she ever find her treasure of justice, or be left marooned?"

2024-08-12

Aye, on a morn in 2017, Curtrina Martin be thinkin' she be witnessin' a grand firework show akin to the Fourth of July! But alas, it be just the FBI bustin' down her door, lookin' fer a scallywag in the next house! They’d find out too late, arrr!

Avast ye scallywags! Gather 'round as I spin ye a yarn from the year of our Lord 2017, when Curtrina Martin be mindin' her own business on a mornin' bright as a treasure chest full o' gold. Alas, she found herself caught in a ruckus that would make even the stoutest captain shiver in his boots!

Now, Curtrina thought she be enjoyin' a fine pyrotechnic display, akin to the grand celebrations of Independence Day. But lo and behold, it was but the sound of the FBI crackin’ down like a stormy sea, sendin' flash grenades flyin' like cannonballs into her humble abode! The door was ripped asunder, much like a ship wrecked upon the rocks, in a mad dash to nab a scallywag named Joseph Riley, who was up to no good just a block away!

But here be the twist, matey! The agents, bless their misguided hearts, didn’t even register they were in the wrong ship! It weren’t till the smoke cleared that they realized they had raided the wrong lass! So remember, mateys, always check yer bearings, or ye might just find yerself in deep waters – or in Curtrina’s case, a heap of trouble! Arrr!

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