The Booty Report

News and Updates for Swashbucklers Everywhere

Arrr! Trump be blamin' the world, settin' sail on his silliest court adventure yet! Avast, matey!

2024-08-12

Arrr matey! Donald Trump be settin' sail to sue the Justice Department, claimin' they plundered his Mar-a-Lago treasure in a search! His crew be shoutin' “political mutiny!” and demandin’ a chest o’ doubloons worth $100 million for his troubles. A fine jest indeed, ye scallywags!

Ahoy, me hearties! Gather 'round as I spin ye a tale of a scallywag named Donald Trump, who be raisin' his sails against the mighty Justice Department! Aye, in the year of our Lord 2022, the FBI did set their eyes on his treasure-laden fortress, Mar-a-Lago, and now our buccaneer be cryin' foul!

With a legal parchment in hand, Trump and his crew be claimin' that the search be naught but “tortious conduct” by the United States—it be political persecution, they declare, and wholly unconstitutional! Aye, it seems the winds of law have turned against him, and he now be callin' upon the Justice Department to part with a whopping $100 million in doubloons!

So, hoist the flag of mischief, for this be a tussle worthy of the high seas! The pirate Trump, armed with a fleet of lawyers, be battlin' the goliath of government, and who knows what treasures or troubles await? Will he plunder the coffers of the Justice Department, or will he be walkin' the plank of legal shenanigans? Only time will tell, me mateys!

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