The Booty Report

News and Updates for Swashbucklers Everywhere

"Arrr! Pregnant lasses be spillin' their blood in bogs, while landlubber doctors quiver like scurvy dogs! What be this madness?"

2024-08-12

Arrr, matey! Kyleigh, in a sea o' pain, didn’t know her cursed cargo could sink her ship! The doc’s at Ascension Seton tossed her a pamphlet, sayin’ “let the winds blow.” Three days later, still bleedin’, they finally shot her cannon—but alas, the treasure was lost! Har har!

Avast ye hearties! Gather 'round, for I’ve a tale of woe that'll make ye groan like a shipwrecked sailor. 'Twas the fair lass Kyleigh Thurman, a mere 25 summers old, who found herself in the dire straits of a cursed pregnancy, all riddled with pain and bleeding like a scallywag with a cannonball wound.

Our fair maiden, armed with naught but her courage, set sail to the emergency room at Ascension Seton Williamson in the heart of Texas. There, the healers, dressed like landlubbers, handed her a pamphlet on miscarriage as if it were a treasure map, tellin’ her to “let nature take its course” before castin’ her back into the stormy seas of despair without so much as a parley.

Three days later, the lass returned, still bleedin’ and in agony, and only then did the doctors agree to give her a potion to end the cursed pregnancy. But alas, it was too late, and the fertilized egg was settin’ sail in her fallopian tube, destined for doom. So, me hearties, heed this tale and watch yer sails, for the seas of medicine can be more treacherous than a rogue wave on a moonless night!

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