The Booty Report

Arrr, Bill be yearnin' fer open primaries across all seas, so every scallywag can cast a vote, savvy?

2024-08-13

Avast ye! A new treasure map be drawn in Congress, lettin' 23.5 million landlubbers pick their own scallywags for office! The “Let America Vote Act,” led by Captain Fitzpatrick and his hearty crew, aims to open the gates in 22 states where party folks be hoardin' the booty! Arrr!

Arrr matey! Gather 'round, fer I’ve got a tale o' great importance from the landlubbers in Congress! A new parchment, dubbed the "Let America Vote Act," be settin’ sail, givin' a mighty opportunity fer the 23.5 million scallywags who be registered as independents to have their say in nominatin’ candidates fer federal office, aye!

This grand venture be spearheaded by the valiant Rep. Brian Fitzpatrick, a swashbucklin’ lad from Pennsylvania, with a hearty crew of cosigners: Reps. Jared Golden from Maine, Andrew Garbarino from New York, and the fierce Marie Gluesenkamp Perez from Washington. Together they be chartin’ a course to open the primaries in 22 states where the party folk be keepin’ their doors shut tighter than a clam with barnacles!

So, ye landlubbers, if ye be wantin’ to hoist the sails of democracy and let the independent crew join the fray, keep yer eyes peeled fer this bill! It be a chance for all good pirates and good folk alike to weigh in on who be representin’ ‘em on the high seas of politics! Yarrr, what a jolly good time it be! A toast to change and fair winds ahead!

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