The Booty Report

News and Updates for Swashbucklers Everywhere

Arrr, says the Romanian sea dogs, Jordan Chiles be likin' a taste o' bronze, sharin' it three ways, aye!

2024-08-13

Arrr, the Romanian Gymnastics crew be shoutin’ on the mornin’ tide that they ne’er consented to snatch away yon medal from young Jordan Chiles! They be keepin' the idea of a three-way booty share afloat, savvy? Avast, what a merry mess!

Ahoy, mateys! A tempest brews in the land of gymnastics, where three fair lasses—Jordan Chiles, Ana Barbosu, and Sabrina Maneca-Voinea—be in a tussle over a shiny bronze medal from the Paris Olympics, like pirates squabblin' over buried treasure! The Romanian Gymnastics Federation be sayin’ all three deserve to share the spoils, while the American crew be fightin' tooth and nail, claimin’ foul play has robbed Chiles of her rightful bling.

These scallywags at USA Gymnastics be brandishin' new evidence, but the Center of Arbitration for Sport (CAS) be givin’ 'em the ol’ heave-ho, refusin’ to hear their claims. They demand Chiles’ score to be restored to a fair 13.666, else she must hand back her medal like a guilty pirate returning a stolen doubloon!

But lo! The FRG be not takin’ this lightly, callin’ for all three maidens to be adorned with bronze, proclaiming they’ve followed all the rules like good sailors. They be askin’ the gymnastics world to stop the cannon fire aimed at their beloved athletes and show some respect—like a captain takin' care of his crew! So raise the flags and keep a weather eye out; this medal war be far from over!

Read the Original Article