The Booty Report

News and Updates for Swashbucklers Everywhere

Arrr, matey! Judge be sayin' RFK Jr. can't sail into NY 'cause his address be as fishy as a sea shanty!

2024-08-13

Arrr, matey! The court be sayin’ Robert F. Kennedy Jr. ain't a true New Yorker, and thus ye can’t find his name on the ballot! Judge Ryba called his claim a "foul lie." He be ready to battle this verdict, but if it sticks, he’ll be walkin’ the plank o’ disappointment!

Ahoy, mateys! Gather 'round, fer I’ve got a tale of a landlubber named Robert F. Kennedy Jr., who thought he could sail the seas of politics without truly settlin' his anchor in New York! A wise judge, Christina Ryba, cast her gaze upon his claims and deemed 'em naught but a ruse fit for a bilge rat!

Ye see, this rogue declared a New York abode as his "place of residence" on his papers, but the judge declared it a "false statement"—a right dodgy move, I say! Her ruling sent his nominating petitions to Davy Jones' locker, makin' 'em as useless as a soggy biscuit. Kennedy, not one to be easily dissuaded, raised his flag of defiance and declared he’d appeal this judgment, like a stubborn scallywag clingin' to his ship in a storm!

Should the court uphold this ruling, me hearties, it would not only sink his ship in the waters of New York’s election but might even send ripples throughout the whole ocean of politics! So, keep yer spyglasses trained, for this pirate saga be far from over, and who knows what tempests await on the horizon!

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