The Booty Report

News and Updates for Swashbucklers Everywhere

Arrr, matey! Will Levis be launchin’ a fragrance o’ mayo—smell like a sandwich on the high seas!

2024-08-14

Arrr, matey! The swashbucklin’ Will Levis o’ the Tennessee Titans be joinin’ forces with that creamy devil, Hellmann's Mayonnaise, to unleash a scent fit fer scallywags! Aye, it's the first-ever perfume of mayo, makin’ even the saltiest sea dog smell like a deli delight!

Ahoy, mateys! Gather 'round fer a tale of the infamous Will Levis, a quarterback of the Tennessee Titans, who’s more enamored with mayonnaise than a parrot with shiny doubloons! Last year, he struck a lifetime deal with Hellmann’s, after spillin' the beans on his peculiar habit of mixin' mayo into his coffee, instead of that sugary nonsense.

But lo! The tale don’t end there! The crafty scallywags at Hellmann’s be havin’ a laugh, launchin' “parfum de mayonnaise,” which be smellin’ of savory delights, musk, and even coffee undertones! Levis be claimin’, “I’ve eaten mayo, drank mayo, and now I can smell like mayo!” Aye, it be a dream come true fer this mayo-loving buccaneer!

Our brave quarterback be no stranger to ridicule fer his creamy concoctions, yet he sails the seas of social media, tryin’ to convert the uninitiated to the wonders of mayo. “It’s a versatile condiment!” he exclaims, as he tries to persuade landlubbers to embrace the richness of mayonnaise, the true treasure of the pantry!

So, as he prepares to set sail into the 2024 season, let us raise a glass of mayo-infused coffee in honor of Will Levis, the man who dares to be different on and off the field! Yarrr!

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