The Booty Report

News and Updates for Swashbucklers Everywhere

Arrr, matey! Designer Kristin Juszczyk told Kamala Harris, "Nay, I’ll not be makin’ ye a fancy frock!"

2024-08-15

Arrr, matey! Kristin Juszczyk's NFL doodles be sweepin' the seas of the internet, goin' viral like a cursed parrot! Yet, even the Vice President, that fancy landlubber, can't snag one! Blimey, what a scallywag of a situation!

Ahoy, me hearties! Gather ‘round fer a tale of one Kristin Juszczyk, wife o’ the San Francisco 49ers fullback, Kyle Juszczyk, who be makin’ waves in the fashion seas! Tired o’ wearin’ but four measly shirts to cheer her swashbucklin’ husband, she took to her needle and thread, creatin’ garments that be catchin’ the eye o’ the world!

Her creations be goin’ viral faster than a cannonball, includin’ a fancy jacket dedicated to the famous Taylor Swift and a stunning ensemble donned by Livvy Dunne at the Paris Olympics. But lo and behold, even the vice president be wantin’ a piece o’ her handiwork! Aye, she received a message durin’ the rowdy Super Bowl season, demandin’ a jacket for Kamala Harris, but alas, she was too busy battlin’ the fabric seas to answer the call of the White House.

“I be just a humble seamstress, no professional,” she quipped, admitin’ she once trembled at the thought of showin’ her designs to anyone. But this brave lass took the plunge and now finds joy in learnin’ somethin’ new every day. So here’s to Kristin, a true treasure in the world of fashion—may her sails always be full and her threads never fray!

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