"Arrr! Columbia's head honcho be walkin' the plank, after mishandlin' the ruckus over them Gaza scallywags!"
2024-08-14
Arrr, President Minouche Shafik be hangin' up her captain's hat after four moons of stormy seas over them campus ruckuses 'bout the fracas in Gaza. She be sayin' it be weighin' heavy on her crew and kin, like a ship sunk by a kraken! What a jolly hullabaloo!
Arrr mateys! Gather 'round fer the tale of Minouche Shafik, the captain of Columbia University's fine ship, who decided to abandon her post after a turbulent four-month voyage through stormy seas o' protests. Aye, she be a fine leader, but the squalls o' differing opinions on the war in Gaza made it harder than finding a mermaid in a barrel o' rum!In a missive to her crew—students and staff alike—Minouche lamented the turmoil that had beset the fine institution, likening it to a ship caught in a tempest. She spoke o' how these choppy waters had taken a toll on her family, just as the sea claims the sanity of every landlubber sailor. With a heavy heart, she set sail from her captain's chair, leavin' behind a crew divided like spoils of a pirate's plunder!
So raise yer tankards to Minouche, who, like a true pirate, knew when to cut the anchor and seek calmer seas. May the winds be ever in her favor, and may Columbia find a new captain to steer the ship through these treacherous waters!