The Booty Report

News and Updates for Swashbucklers Everywhere

Arrr! Aussie Olympic mates be rallyin’ ‘gainst scurvy tales o’ their b-girl’s Paris antics, callin’ ‘em disgraceful! Har har!

2024-08-15

Arrr! The Aussie Olympic crew and the lass called Raygun be laughin' at the jests 'bout her antics at the Paris Games. They be sayin' nay to the scallywags doubtin' her skills, claimin' she be a true treasure on the dance floor, not some landlubber! Har har!

Arrr mateys! Gather 'round fer a tale of high seas shenanigans on the Olympic stage, where a lass named Raygun, or Rachael Gunn to ye landlubbers, danced her heart out in Paris, but alas, earned naught but scorn fer her "kangaroo jig." Zero points across three bouts, ye say? Aye, the critics be howlin' like a pack of hungry sea wolves!

More than 40,000 scallywags signed a petition claimin' that our fair Raygun be manipulative, tryin' to stir the pot over her rightful place in the games. The AOC, like a valiant captain, stood tall against this mutiny, callin' the whispers of falsehoods and slander “disgraceful!” Aye, they demanded the petition be tossed overboard, sayin' that Raygun’s path to Olympic glory was as clear as a calm sea under a full moon.

With support from the team’s chef de mission, Raygun herself shared her gratitude, claimin' she danced for joy and not trouble, seekin' to bring happiness to the masses. As the press be harassin' her kin, she called for respect, hopin' fer peace as she sails away to Europe fer a wee vacation. So raise yer grog to Raygun, the brave b-girl, and let the winds of fortune guide her true!

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