The Booty Report

News and Updates for Swashbucklers Everywhere

Arrr, Mike Francesa be shoutin' at them Mets fer lettin' that 'Hawk Tuah lass' toss the first pitch! What be they thinkin'?

2024-08-17

Arrr, matey! Mike Francesa be joinin' the crew of grumblers, takin' aim at the New York Mets fer lettin' that scallywag Haliey Welch hurl the first pitch before Thursday's grand spectacle. Blimey! What be next, a parrot on the mound? Har har har!

Ahoy, mateys! Gather 'round as I regale ye with a tale of the New York Mets and their misguided decision to have a lass named Haliey Welch toss the first pitch at a game. Veteran sports chitter-chatterer Mike Francesa, known for his raucous rants, be livid about this selection, claiming the crew at the Mets be as clueless as a landlubber at sea!

Francesa, in his podcast parley, blasted the decision-makers for inviting Welch, who rose to fame with a scandalous remark that sailed the viral seas. "What in Davy Jones’ locker were they thinkin'?" he bellowed, questioning why they’d choose a lass whose fame be as fleeting as a puff of smoke after a cannon fire. He painted a picture of the Mets floundering about, akin to a ship lost in a squall.

As the backlash rippled across the social waters, Welch tried to calm the storm, claiming her appearance aimed to raise awareness for a noble cause—pairing dogs with veterans. But alas, the damage was done, and the Mets’ decision had fans scratching their heads, wondering what kind of cursed treasure they had dug up this time! Arrr, it be a right merry mess on the high seas of baseball!

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