The Booty Report

News and Updates for Swashbucklers Everywhere

Arrr, matey! Mikey Varas be sayin’ young scallywags thrive from runnin' wild in the streets, no landlubber watchin’!

2024-08-17

Arrr, mateys! Mikey Varas be takin' the helm as the temporary captain o' the U.S. men’s national crew fer some jolly September battles! With a past in trainin' the wee lads, he’s ready to steer this ship towards glory, or at least a good rum or two!

Ahoy, ye landlubbers! Gather ‘round as I spin ye a yarn ‘bout the brave soul Mikey Varas, who’s takin’ the helm as the interim head coach of the U.S. men's national team! Reports be flyin’ faster than a cannonball, sayin’ he’ll steer the ship for some friendly matches come September, settin’ course to face Canada and New Zealand. Arrr!

This swashbucklin’ captain be 39, takin’ charge of a crew that just got clobbered by Morocco in the Paris Olympics. Their former captain, Gregg Berhalter, walked the plank after a dismal Copa América. Varas, a San Francisco native, once led the under-20 lads to glory, but his latest voyage in the U-20 World Cup sunk in the quarterfinals! Blimey!

With experience like treasure troves, Varas has plundered knowledge from his days coaching at FC Dallas and the Sacramento Republic Academy. He believes in the power of young scallywags playin’ freely in the streets, flingin’ themselves into all sorts of adventures, climbin’ fences and trees, all to hone their skills! Aye, that’s the spirit!

So, hoist the sails for Varas, may his leadership lead the U.S. team to glory on the high seas of soccer!

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