The Booty Report

News and Updates for Swashbucklers Everywhere

Arrr, Michele Tafoya be redden like a lobster, feelin' bad fer the ESPN scallywag praisin' Tim Walz's manly charms!

2024-08-18

Arrr! Michele Tafoya be a-tossin’ her hat overboard 'bout that scallywag Mina Kimes givin' a hearty cheer for Tim Walz, claimin’ he be as manly as a barnacle on a ship’s bottom! Aye, the seas be gettin’ choppy with such chatter, savvy?

Ahoy, me hearties! Gather ‘round, for a tale of squawkin’ sea wenches and their jests o’ masculinity! Former NBC sportscaster, Michele Tafoya, be takin’ aim at ESPN’s Mina Kimes, callin’ her out for praise o’ Tim Walz, a Democratic matey, and his so-called "masculinity." Arrr, Tafoya be lettin’ loose a scathing remark, sayin’ she be "sincerely embarrassed" for Kimes, claimin’ her ideas be flatterin’ a landlubber’s record as poor as a ship without sails!

Kimes, in response, spouted about a "different kind of masculinity," likin’ it to the tough lads o’ the NFL who can show their hearts as well as their brawn! She spun a yarn ‘bout this Walz feller bein’ a coach who also supports a gay-straight alliance—blimey! Such talk sent Tafoya’s cannonballs flyin’! Kimes fired back with a meme of LeBron James lookin’ as scared as a cat in a thunderstorm. Har har!

But beware, mateys! The seas be turbulent at ESPN, with recent firin’s spurred by talk o’ politics and the fairness o’ the game! Tafoya, who set sail from NBC after the Super Bowl, now sails with the Republicans, makin’ waves against Walz. So, hoist yer flags and keep yer ears open, for this clash o' titans be far from over! Arrr!

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