The Booty Report

News and Updates for Swashbucklers Everywhere

Avast! Cast aside that snoozy Meta contraption; I be craving a clever bracelet fer me AR spectacles, savvy? Here’s me tale!

2024-08-19

Avast, me hearties! A Meta smartwatch be on the horizon, but I say, let’s hoist a Meta bracelet instead! Why, ye ask? ‘Cause a bracelet be less likely to get snagged on a scallywag’s beard whilst swabbing the decks! Yarrr!

Ahoy, mateys! It seems the tech seas be churnin’ with news o’ Google givin’ the ol’ heave-ho to Fitbit smartwatches, lettin’ its favored Pixel Watch 3 sail forth instead. But lo! Rumors be afloat that Meta, like a ghost ship risen from Davy Jones’ locker, be revivin’ its long-forgotten smartwatch project, thanks to whispers from the renowned seafarer of leaks, Evan Blass.

Once upon a time, in the year of our Lord 2022, Meta’s smartwatch plans were cast aside, much like a shipwrecked hull. But now, the winds o’ change blow favorably, and talk o’ a new timepiece returns like a cursed treasure. This watch be rumored to have features akin to the illustrious Apple Watch, mixed with a sprinkle o’ technology to translate nerve signals, makin' it a trusty companion for both landlubbers and those with missing limbs! Arrr!

But hark! This be but a rumor, and the details be as murky as the ocean depths. A Meta smart bracelet be afoot, me hearties, designed to cut costs and be more practical than a parrot on yer shoulder. So, keep yer spyglasses handy for the grand reveal at Meta Connect in the future. Who knows what treasures await us in the tech seas? Yarrr!

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