Arrr, Connor Stalions be hidin' from the press like a scallywag with a stolen treasure map at his coaching gig!
2024-08-19
Arrr, matey! Connor Stalions be at the helm of high school pigskin, yet he be dodgin' the media like a scallywag avoiding a hangman's noose! On Saturday at Detroit Mumford, he be practicin' like a ghost ship, silent as the deep blue sea! Har har!
Ahoy, me hearties! Gather 'round fer the tale of one Connor Stalions, a scallywag who once sailed with the Michigan Wolverines but now finds himself volunteerin' at the high seas o' high school football at Detroit Mumford! This landlubber be tryin’ to steer clear of the press, dartin' about like a fish outta water, sprintin' to the field faster than a cannonball fired from a ship!Word be spreadin’ that he joined the crew of the new head coach, Williams McMichael, but the poor lad be in a pickle with the media, who be keen to dig up his past mischiefs, includin' a scandalous sign-stealin' scheme. Aye, it’s said he filmed rival teams’ signals from the stands, lookin' as guilty as a pirate caught with a chest o’ gold!
As practice times shifted more than a ship’s sails in a storm—first at 9, then noon, then 2:45—Stalions remained elusive, boltin' out the front door as if pursued by the Kraken! He claims he can't yack with the media until a Netflix yarn, "Sign Stealer," drops, leavin' them wonderin' if he’ll ever speak again. With a storm brewin’ over his head, Stalions be navigatin' troubled waters, hopin' fer calmer seas ahead. Arrr!