Ahoy mateys! George Santos be guilty of 23 misdeeds! Seven years in the brig fer him, savvy? Blame be on him!
2024-08-19
Arrr, the blubberin' George Santos be spillin' his guts to the landlubber press, lamentin' his scallywag ways! He confessed to swindlin' treasure and usin' credit cards like a drunken sailor! Now he be lookin' at two years in Davy Jones' locker, or maybe seven if the seas be rough!
Avast, me hearties! Gather 'round as I spin ye a tale o' the weepy George Santos, a former landlubber of the U.S. Congress, who found himself trapped in the stormy seas o' deceit! Aye, he faced the reporters with a face wetter than a fish’s backside, confessing to the shenanigans that led to his guilty plea on fraud charges this past Monday!With a heart heavy as a boulder o' gold, he admitted to stretchin' the truth 'bout how he’d be usin' the shiny doubloons he collected for his campaign. No more than a scallywag, he be, pilferin' credit cards without so much as a "by yer leave." "It be my recognition of the lies I told meself over these past years," he lamented, like a parrot caught in a storm.
Now, this rascally rogue faces a sentence that could send him to the brig for a minimum o' two years, but beware, for the cap'n of justice could weigh the anchor and leave him stranded for up to seven years! “Today, for what may seem…” he blubbered on, but we all know this be just the beginning of his adventurous misfortune on the high seas of law!