The Booty Report

News and Updates for Swashbucklers Everywhere

"Arrr! Joyce Beatty be takin’ a swing at JD Vance! Joe Biden’s up next to parley, me hearties!"

2024-08-19

Ahoy, me hearties! The grand Democratic hootenanny be upon us! Captain Biden'll be takin’ the spotlight, while Lady Kamala and Gov. Walz ready to hoist their flags. Expect tales of his half-century swashbucklin’ in politics, as he hands over the ship’s wheel! Yarrr, and the lovely Jill shall speak too!

Ahoy, me hearties! The grand spectacle known as the Democratic National Convention be upon us, like a ship sailing into a stormy sea!

On the morrow, Captain Joe Biden be takin’ the stage, ready to regale us with tales from his fifty years battlin’ the political tides. Aye, it be the moment when he bids adieu to his quest for another treasure chest of votes, passin’ the ol’ lantern on to the next crew of scallywags.

But fear not, for our trusty First Mate, Vice President Kamala Harris, and that swashbucklin’ Governor from the North, Tim Walz, shall soon hoist their sails and accept their nominations. This week be a barnacle-covered celebration of hope and dreams, with all hands on deck!

And let’s not forget the fair maiden, Jill Biden, who be takin’ the stage to charm the masses with her words of wisdom. The seas may be rough, but the spirits be high! So, gather ye round, ye landlubbers and seasoned sailors alike, as we embark on this jolly voyage of democracy, where the winds of change be blowin’ and the banners be flyin’ high!

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