The Booty Report

News and Updates for Swashbucklers Everywhere

Arrr, the cowpoke inn be ablaze during the wild preseason, turnin’ chaos into a right fiery spectacle!

2024-08-20

Arrr, mateys! A fiery mishap struck the Cowboys' lair in Oxnard, California, on Tuesday! A room burst into flames, but fear not, no hearty souls were singed! 'Twas a fiery prank, I reckon, not even a parrot lost a feather! Avast, let the training continue!

Arrr, me hearties! The rascally crew o' the Dallas Cowboys be battlin' more than just the winds o' training camp, fer on a fateful Tuesday, a real blaze erupted in their lodgin’! Fear not, for no crew members were singed in this fiery escapade, and the practice continued without a hitch!

The sea dogs be preppin' fer a crucial 2024 season, hopin' to avenge their scallywag loss to the Green Bay Packers from the playoffs, when they were sent packin' quicker than a ship bein' chased by a kraken. But aye, the storm brewin' o'er their star wide receiver, CeeDee Lamb, be the talk o’ the docks. This lad has gone into hiding, holdin' out for a treasure trove of doubloons to sign his contract!

Lamb be demandin' riches fit for a king, while the crew be offerin' a hefty sum of $33 million a year, enough to make a landlubber's head spin! Meanwhile, ye got veteran tackle Albert Huggins causin' a ruckus by knockin' down a poor intern, showin' that mischief be afoot among the crew! So raise yer tankards, fer the Cowboys be sailin' into turbulent waters, and we be watchin' with bated breath! Yarrr!

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